Dialogue (dia = through) & (logos = meaning or word)
Dialogue is a flow of meaning through words in which new understandings emerge that might not have been present before. It is done in a spirit of inquiry—wanting to know. We look for shared meaning beyond our individual understanding.
Source: Practicing the Sacred Art of Listening by Kay Lindahl
We seek to understand differences so that diversity is honored.
Added to Lindahl’s thinking by Linda Marshall, member of the Imago Peace Project
Communologue is a form of dialogue for groupsdeveloped by the Imago Peace Project.
Communologue Guidelines & Participant Encouragements
#1 The pace is slow ~~ the ear hears much more slowly than the mouth speaks
We honor silence and time for reflection.
“I encourage anyone listening to me who experiences me as talking too fast, with too many words or ideas, too quickly or too much for them to track, to interrupt me and slow me down so that all my listeners can be comfortable.”
#2 Speaking is from our hearts rather than from our head ~~ We avoid “Mastertalk”
“I encourage anyone listening to me, and who experiences me speaking from my head,
especially if I am speaking as though there is one truth (Mastertalk) in such a way that
makes them uncomfortable, to interrupt me and invite me to repeat my message with more
openness to multiple truths so that all my listeners can be comfortable.”
#3 We assume there is mutual responsibility for relationship interactions
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me, and who experiences me blaming others too
much or taking on too much guilt or self-blame, to gently interrupt me and remind me of
mutual responsibility for relationship interactions.”
#4 We assume that everyone makes sense all of the time (pre-validation) and our job is
to listen until we understand and can convey their sense (validation)
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me, is hearing me speak of my frustration(s) and
who believes that I am focusing on triggers or the triggering people in my life in an
uncomfortable fashion, to interrupt me and invite me to focus more on sharing the internal
causes of my reactions to those triggers – so that I may be validated, and that all my
listeners, especially a person who may have done the triggering behavior, can be
comfortable.”
#5 When we ask questions, we first give the importance to us of asking the question.
We do not demand an answer.
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me and who hears me asking a question in a way
that makes them feel uncomfortable, to interrupt me and invite me to share my thoughts
and internal statements that have led me to ask the question – so that the asking of my
question can be validated and so that all my listeners can be comfortable. I also encourage
the person I am questioning to respond to my question only as they wish and as they are
comfortable.”
#6 We manage the space and time
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me and who notes any issue of the space or time
needs of the group, to interrupt me so that I can participate fully in those group needs
and so that all listeners may be comfortable.
#7 We speak to be easily understood
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me and who experiences me as sounding
uncomfortably misleading or abstract, to interrupt me and help me speak more clearly so
that I may be more easily understood and so that all listeners may be comfortable.”
#8 We gently invite people to share more deeply
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me and who experiences me as being unclear or
incomplete to invite me to say more and thus help me speak more clearly and with more
depth, so I can be more easily understood and so that all listeners may be comfortable.”
#9 We are vigilant in validating everyone so diversity can be safely shared
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me and who experiences me as invalidating anyone
else, quickly and gently remind me that all people make sense all of the time and ask me to
reflect back the sense they make. This is to help me remember and maintain the tone of
pre-validation so that all listeners may be comfortable.”
#10 We handle reactivity in the group in a timely manner, respectful and with minimal
interruption to the speaker
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me and who notices a powerful reaction in
themselves or in others, to invite me to pause, while that person’s reaction is shared and
validated, and then to invite me to complete my share.”
#11 We honor confidentiality so as to create a safe space for self-expression. We allow
what is said within the
hold each other in the light, trusting that each of us has our own inner teacher.
“I encourage anyone who is listening to me outside the group attempting to give my ideas
about what was said in the
uncomfortable, to gently remind me to trust the light in each person and their ability to
learn the lessons that are theirs to learn so that all listeners experience safety.”
Source: The Imago Peace Project Participants (especially Al Turtle), and Kay Lindahl
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